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Sunday, December 30, 2012

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Thursday, December 20, 2012

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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

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Sunday, December 16, 2012

the bullied person struggles with setting and maintaining boundaries

Bullies At Work: Exceeding Corporate Limits by Gwendolyn M. Ward
When a friend asked me to write about workplace bullying, I remembered the first time I was bullied by a senior manager. She told me I was doing a great job but needed to learn how to "kiss her a#$" (her words) for a promotion. Her boldness took me off guard and I blurted, "that aint NEVER going to happen!" My response ignited a one-year battle of wills over boundaries,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots.
For most of us, defining boundaries is an ongoing, complex journey that typically starts in childhood,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Chocolate Boots. I was eight when bullied by teenagers while walking home from school with my cousin. We ignored them using the sticks and stones' mantra until one day, one of them pushed me in the street. Since we were outnumbered and outsized, I decided to tell my big brother but my grandmother saw me first and asked what was wrong. I told her.
My grandmother immediately asked where they lived and went to their house, introduced herself and stated why she was there. The bullies denied everything and she calmly told them "lie or truth, you or not you,5838 Ugg Bailey Button Bomber Jacket Grey Boots, these two are off-limits, so do not speak to or touch us again and tell your friends." She didn't state a consequence; she just set the boundary and the bullying ended. This was my bullying defining moment because I knew when my butt hit that concrete, I needed help beyond me and, fortunately,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Sand Boots, my grandmother was fearless.
I was also fearless when battling my first bullying manager; I wasn't going to be intimidated and she was equally determined to break me. I was wholly engaged in the fight until a peer said it was creating a hostile environment and I needed to go to Human Resources (HR). The HR manager said in a meandering, emphatic way that senior management "is what it is at that level" and since my performance wasn't suffering, I was handling it. End result from HR: If I was on fire and needed water, I would have been ashes.
But instead of burning, I emailed my documentation to a senior executive who sent it to the HR executive who addressed it with the bully and the HR managers. The senior executive and I met and discussed the art of office politics, as well as my confrontational skills and value to the company,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Chestnut Boots. He encouraged me to consider another management position, but I realized that on some twisted level,as if you're fresh off the cattle ranch, the battle of wills was an unconscious distraction from the fact that I no longer found the job challenging. His responsiveness was appreciated, but I started a job search and accepted an offer six weeks later.
Bullying became pervasive as I continued to climb the corporate ladder. In most cases, it was rolling downhill from C-Suite positions. Through these trials, my boundaries remained intact, but I improved my confrontation skills by being assertive and not antagonistic. Generally,at a certain moment, the bullies backed off immediately—and when they didn't, I escalated it.
Most bullies are scared of confrontation, which is why they typically hide behind their position or size for intimidation. Simply put, they wouldn't do it if it didn't work. It's like a fix and, like any other addict, they crave the high. Workplace bullying is a multi-level permission fix requiring weakening consent. Bullies deflect their weaknesses with superficial strength by exploiting working relationships, the bullied person struggles with setting and maintaining boundaries, and the companies allows it when they fail to implement a standard conduct policy for employees, regardless of position or expertise.
Sometimes bullying is stuck at the victims' level because they are afraid to report it, which is the key reason a bully needs an agreeable targetsometimes it works for them:
In a company meeting, a senior manager's boss screamed she was an idiot for taking notes while she was speaking. The boss was using the F-bomb at the manager in front of her subordinates and peers, and the manager visually cowered and remained silent. After the meeting, coworkers told the manager that she took the high road, but to me it looked like road kill because it was painful to watch.
And sometimesnot so much:
One coworker expressed indifference to a boss' attempted bullying by saying, "I was eating when I accepted this job and I'll be eating when I leave either from home or from the jail cell they throw me in for assaulting you." The boss looked startled, walked away and the bullying ceased.
No one can determine your limits or set your boundaries better than you. That's why the first line of defense is always you—stand up for yourself first and, if you don't have the strength, seek help. If the help isn't helpful, seek additional help or find an exit. It's not easy to stand up, but neither is constant humiliation. Martin Luther King said it best with "A man can't ride your back unless it's bent."

Friday, December 14, 2012

but I know I will eat it anyway. Oh

Chocolate Chip Cookies & What They Are Telling Us by Suzanne Freiberg
Ok, so admittedly, I am sitting here taking a little breather and eating my 4th, or is it 10th (?) chocolate chip cookie of the day. It's not quite as enjoyable as the first, but I know I will eat it anyway. Oh, you ask, "Why is it not as good as the first?" Well, it is because this one can't be rationalized away this one is just plain over-the-top, filled with guilt, packed with pain and too much of a good thing.
Well, now that we are all clear on my addiction of choice. Let's look at what the cookies are dying for me to know, and what your indulgences want you to know as well.
We all have our little indulgences in the work place,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Chocolate Boots, which take us away from our work for a moment and allow us to mentally take a break. Whether it is the extra 10 minutes we spend chatting with a co-worker about her love life, the couple of extra personal calls we make each day, the extra ½ hour we take for lunch, or maybe it's just gossiping about how "Mary" is taking an extra ½ hour for her lunch. Any one of these little breathers alone, like that first chocolate chip cookie, can be rationalized away and can even be a little bit of a good thing,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Chocolate Boots. They are indulgences that make us feel better in the moment.
We all know that it is ok to indulge once in a while, or what the heck, once a day everyone needs a little breather to pick ourselves up. It is when we have hit our 10th indulgence of the day that we have to take a more serious look at why it is we are driven to indulge.
If we are over indulging in one thing, then we can be sure we are disengaging from something else. Indulgence is the symptom, not the problem. The real problem is that we are disengaging from our work and there is a reason we have made the choice to disengage,5838 Ugg Bailey Button Bomber Jacket Chestnut Boots,and is not hard to grasp.. It is a choice that many more people are making and when professionals disengage from their work we all pay the price. Disengaged workers miss 3,5803 Ugg Bailey Button Grey Boots.5 more days of work per year than average employees. In addition, a study by Robert Hall International shows that two months of the average worker's year is wasted time, costing business a total of $1.5 billion in lost time.
There are many reasons why we disengage; my reason du jour is "creative avoidance". If I'm eating a cookie, I don't have to write an article. However, more and more frequently we are seeing that workers disengage because they have lost their passion for their work, or worse yet they never felt the passion to begin with.
Passion is lost when we are not working in our gifts and strengths. If you were created to be a teacher and share your love of learning with the world, no matter how hard you try you will never feel passion when you are selling office equipment. Conversely, the born sales person will never feel their passion teaching history to the next generation.
The problem is that even after we have heard what the chocolate chip cookies are trying to tell us,Outcome Thinking, many of us remain stuck in the cycle of indulgence. Yes, you heard your 10th cookie telling you that you don't want to sell any more copiers, but you ignore that little voice because you don't know how to put away the cookies and find your true passion.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

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Wednesday, December 5, 2012

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Monday, December 3, 2012

and they evolve to fit the needs of the soldier. On the other hand

The history of Military Boots
The history of military boots is a quite interesting one and also one which spans decades of history,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Chocolate Boots. These boots have assisted soldiers in countless wars, and they evolve to fit the needs of the soldier. On the other hand, these same boots have had an impact on the fashion industry as well as the culture around it. Needless to say, military boots have an interesting story to how they are used and how they came to be.Combat boots were worn during the English civil war, where the soldiers were issued three pairs that they would change after each march. This ensured that the boots would wear evenly and that they would be worn in and ready to be used when needed. These boots originally had buckles on them, but were switched to laced ones in the 19th century.American soldiers in the 1820's wore ankle-high boots, but they did not have a designated foot for each shoe. In other words, there was no left or right boot. The reason for this design was so that there was no way a soldier could confuse their boots, but it resulted in a rather uncomfortable experience, and even blisters, for the soldier until they could properly wear the boot in and make it fit their foot's shape.Moving forward to World War II,Business Opportunities, the US Army introduced the first official set of military boots. These boots used a pair of clasps to offer a quicker and more reliable solution to what the soldiers wore,Base Articles. These boots had one sole and heel, and were created from synthetic rubber. These boots were worn until the early years of the Vietnam War.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

The consequences that this disorder can inflict on folks can be downright punishing.

Are You Tired of Insomnia?
How frustrating,5854 Ugg Classic Mini Chocolate Boots! Day after day of sleepless nights, begging for the sweet release of sleep.
Insomnia. The common sleeping problem that has many people around the world concerned.
The consequences that this disorder can inflict on folks can be downright punishing.
Endless hours of looking repeatedly at your clock while moving around in your bed. It's mental and emotional agony that we can do without. Having to stick it out the next day after another sleepless night is not only difficult, it can be dangerous. People just do not function well with little or no sleep. Mistakes can and do happen when people are tired and, sadly enough, they are not the ONLY ones that get hurt.
I don't want you to suffer anymore. Try these tips to help you in your quest for a good nights sleep.
1. Try not eating within 4 hours before you go to sleep. Have some fruit if you are hungry but do not eat any heavy food. Your food won't be digested well, and you will have a poor and uncomfortable sleep.
2. Go to sleep and wake up at the same time everyday, even during the weekends. Some insomniacs try to sleep at any time of the day to catch up on some sleep they lost at night. Don't do this. It ruins your body clock and will only make your insomnia worse. If you can't sleep one night, get up at the same time the next morning. You'll be sleeping like a baby the next night.
3. Stop drinking coffee or alcohol. Caffeine can interrupt your ability to sleep. Alcohol can make you drowsy, but it can wake you up in the middle of the night and bring you side effects that will affect you ability to sleep well.
4. Exercise daily to release tension. Do some breathing exercises to relax your body. Most important of all, don't bring your problems to sleep with you. If you really have fixed attention on some problem or some situation from work then get up, grab some paper and a pen and write, write, write. Write down what is on your mind. Write down ANY feelings, emotions, ideas etc. Do this until you are satisfied,Closet Raid. Then, go to sleep.
5. Don't try to force yourself to sleep,but will look good as well. There are lots of different options to choose from and sometimes. You could try doing the opposite. Try NOT to sleep and see if that works. This has amazing effects on some people. As they are trying so hard not to sleep they suddenly drop off without knowing it.
I hope you do well. Good Night,Rubber boots with rubber soles are one of the most sought after fashion items for 2010!